Friday, August 29, 2008
38.5 weeks - Gotta have a C-section
oy vey - my son wants to make an entrance ehh? oh yah, and seriously make mommy crazy. boo!
Well it started with an ultrasound on Monday. My doctor ordered one since he seemed a LOT bigger from 37 to 38 weeks. I was like, ummm yah! hello, my organs are dying for mercy people!
The ultrasound tech was quite surprised since we were measuring at 40 weeks, and his belly was off the charts! LOL- seriously, dying laughing, cuz yes, that is my son huh? How appropriate that my son would be "hefty"!! hahahhahah - of course. Mikey tried to rat me out and blame it on my BK woppers - who knew they were SO good?? mmmmm (sorry, sidenote)
So, I've been waiting all week to see what the plan was! boo to my dr. who is in surgery and super popular.
But, after much waiting, today we finally got to meet with her and she adviced us that we would need a C. Seems that since his abdomen is larger than his head, she doesn't want to risk the head getting through, he getting stuck at the shoulders and having to do an emergency C- which a 1000 times riskier to me and him.
Mikey was not too happy at first, his sister had a HORRIBLE C story and because of it, can not have anymore kids...yah, not good. But, after realizing I have a great dr., he eased into it.
Since I have to be 39 weeks to do the surgery, the soonest we could schedule is for Wed the 3rd. So i get to spend labor day, NOT in labor, with my feet kicked up and relaxing. I could still go into labor and I'm ordered to relax - ha ! right....
Oh! and, at 38.5 weeks, (get ready for this - lol) I'm measuring at 43 weeks!!! lol. geez - do i grow a baby or WHAT - go Big or go HOME. lol
How do I feel about having a C-section? Honestly, I'm good. The craziest part is that I've spent SO much time prepping for vag delivery and labor and all that, now I'm like, well shit! I spent how much to learn how to breath for what??? boo. And, it's weird since I never imagined it this way. I always thought I would have a room full of friends and family, I'd push push puuusshhh, we'd laugh at how I was yelling at someone, and then Kyle would come on out....like "normal" babies. But, we're not normal. Now, that is replaced with only getting to have Mikey in the op room with me, and he's even kicked out for a bit, so I'll be by myself for a while when they prep me. But, no one's allowed to even visit for like 2 hours after it's all done. (holding back tears) It's definitely not what I planned, but I thank God I have Mikey by my side. He's my rock and I couldn't do this without him.
It's times like these that I am humbled and appreciative to have found the most wonderful husband/best friend/team mate ever, I wish everyone that kind of happiness and security.
Well, I guess the next blog will be to tell you how it all went. Guaranteed that'll be from my laptop in the hospital bed with Footloose playing . And someone better bring me a WHOPPER!! mmmmm lol
Love ya,Teensy Scared and Very Excited
Saturday, August 16, 2008
37 weeks - Dood, I think I’m pregnant :)
Ok, so to start off, my closest friends know that this entire pregnancy has been a complete wonder to me. Honestly, I was in Capital D denial for, umm i don't know like the first 6 months??! Seriously. I constantly tell Mikey, I can not believe I've been so fortunate to have the honor of producing our child. It completely rocks my world and ranks as one of the things I never thought would happen. Like, completely surreal. Today really helped set that in with a crazy ass dr. appointment.
1. I was friggin hysterical pissed/balling/everything as the pressures from work mounted and I over spilled...oh baby did I. I wanted to yell and cry at everyone and needed an effing moment to my effing self without someone asking - "are you ok?" um NO asshole! leave me alone!!!!!! So- of course that led to my blood pressure being through the fucking roof. My dr. then talks seriously to me to make sure I'm not depressed...I'm like Doc- here's what I'm dealing with...blah blah blah...she laughs and is surprised my BP isn't higher!!!!!! (that's me yelling :) a box of kleenex later, I pull myself together.
THEN! 2. She feels to see how we're progressing, and Kyle bug in locked and loaded. His head is down and not moving, and we're progressing great. She says -"Oh! we're like 2 or 3 weeks from a baby!!!!" (holy F dood) I guess that car seat, stroller, crib, clothes, blankets, diapers, playard, and all are going to be needed after all??!!!!! LOL
See, when I was 21, I had a miscarriage. Looking back, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. That might sound harsh or crazy, but at that time, I was in a loveless marriage- one of convenience, I was well over 300 lbs, I think around 330ish, and could barely walk since I have disc degenerative disease...2 discs in my back are aging 3 times faster than my others. So, at 330lbs, I could not walk.
I started off blaming myself, naturally. Then, I realized, it was like one of those jokes, where some guy is drowning and praying to God.... "God! Help me!" and like 2 boats come by, and he refuses them since God is on his way. lol. Well, in a weird way, that time in my life was one of my boats. That miscarriage jolted me, and spurred me to gain control of my life. So, I lost over 125 lbs, realized my marriage was going nowhere and completely wrong and I was living the life not meant for me. I ended up getting divorced, and moving to Portland to follow my passions in life (that's probably about when you met me ).
So~! Long story later, I'm so thankful for the life I have now. I'm truly happy, in love, and all that good stuff, even though I'm not in the best shape...but I've found a new determination I've never felt before. I'm quite excited to use my new 24hr Fitness Membership (hello kickbocking!!) - oh! can't wait...gets me all jazzed up. lol.
As my newfound realization of being pregnant, no like REALLY pregnant sets in, I thought it funny to recap my symptons as my happy ass constantly blogged about how easy I had it and oh my how friggin jolly my ass was - lol...well I've now entered the 37th F-ing week .
Zero Patience - Check - I'm seriously dangerous on the road now. lolPuffy Ass Feet - Check - I can't even wear my flip flops half the darn time!Puffy Fingers- Check - My purdy new ring laughs at me when I try to put it on.Aches/Pains- Check- WTF dood. I feel like I'm 90 - seriously.Emotionally Unstable - Abso-Effing-LUTELY CHECK! LOL, hubby will verify.and so on and so onnnnn........
So, around this time as I didn't get one of those fandango (that's mikey's favorite word for something totally cool - lol) 3D ultrasounds, I'm going blind here! I want to see what Kyle will look like! That's so totally normal, right??? Welllll, listen to me carefully, leave it to imagination, because those sites out there claiming to load to pics and see your baby is CRAP! In fact, I nearly had a heartattack and my mom was on the floor dying laughing - ohhh yahhhhh - it was THAT bad. SOOOO bad, I felt the need to save our darling pictures and share with you .
1st up - I picked my favorite pictures of Mikey and I - I have so many blasted looks to choose from - but I was sure we had a good looking baby on the way...then this popped up?
Ready for the finale?? ohhhh yahhhh,
WTF!?????????????????????????????????
Right....so yah. HMM? Guess we'll see him in 2-3 weeks anyways - LOL.
I want to finish by thanking all my friends that were able to come to my baby shower. It honestly was the BEST time of my life. It was absolutely perfection and I can NOT thank you enough to my friends Brittany and Trish and my Mom for putting so much work into it...plus to Annie and Megs for bringing the balloons. You all make me friggin tear up- the best bunch of aunties EVER! I did totally miss my Woo - aka Carrie - but you were there baby :) - love ya! I am sitting here with my stack of thank you cards, trying to get them donnnneeeeee. So sorry for slacking yo :( And, if you get an envelope with a 37 cent christmas stamp and 39 cent easter stamp - just laugh - that's all I could do. Damn the mafia USPS! changing the prices before I can use my christmas stamps from like 1998!!! asssholes. :)
I'm looking forward to my last event weekend for work, LPGA next weekend, then soooooo looking forward to chilling. As in - NO EVENTS!! I quit yo!!
I love ya, and can't wait to show you Kyle pix - let's pray he's a tiny bit cuter than baby Kyle above....woooowwwwww. ??
much love,emotionally unstable
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
30.5 Weeks - Joys of Nesting
The last two weeks have been a blur, all I can recal is a blizzard of picture frames, curtains, vacuums, paints, candles, bed sets, and kung fu panda toys (collecting for Kyle from McD's LOL). I hear I've entered the "nesting" phase.
It all started when I started thinking about our home. I love our home, and for some reason I always like to change, create, and decorate....however, oddly enough I haven't done any of that since we bought our house in umm what was it like 2 or 3 years ago?? I can't remember...
The biggest spur was that my mother is moving in (yes to my house ) and I wanted her to feel warm and welcomed and yes, dare i admit, love our house. Long story short is, my mom was a single mother doing the best she could, we always lived with someone, in a garage, a spare 5th wheel, a rented trailer, etc etc...never have I live in my own home. When Mike and I bought our place, I couldn't believe how lucky I was to have a house..an actual house with a garage and sidewalks, and grass!! I was and still am so grateful and so blessed. Even though it's not the biggest house on the block (actually, I think it's the smallest! LOL) - it's my perfect little home and I want my mom to feel proud that even though she has still to have her own home, that while she's living with us, this is her home. (sooo trying not to cry...stupid hormones!! ).
So! It started.
Nesting lesson: Never assume a store that should obviously carry a product, will. They will most likely say " we don't carry those anymore" and point you to shop online. (assholes). Dont' they know that pregnant nesting women want their shit NOW, not like in 4 to 6 weeks?!Exhibit A: Mission - looking for large letter stencils for Kyle's Name blocksTarget: Craft Warehouse and Joann's CraftsResult: Neither "craft superstores" (my ASS) carry letter stencils larger than like 2". WTF??? Seriously???Thank goodness I'm a crafty bitch, and can trust in my computer. I printed out my own stencils, cut the bastards out...and waaahhla - stencils. Exhibit B: Mission - looking for ABC buidling block decor, especially a wall borderTarget: Every effing border store online and in store!!! Result: None, nowhere, never ever. The only one I could find was lame, but I ordered anyways, and hubby hates it. So do I actually, F the F-ing block border! I need to paint that TOO??? I'm going to start my own building blocks decor site fuckers!Exhibit C: Mission - kid drawer knobs or kiddy closet hooks to hang said lettersTarget: Lowe's and Home DepotResult: NONE! Seriously....the entire knob aisle is like 400 feet long, and not even one fucking knob for a kid drawers or anything??? Seriously...???Ok then - no hanging device will be used. Hubby promptly convinces me that it's demasculating our child (lol) and that we need to hang with just nails. No fancy pants. FINE!
I won't even get started on the shelves fiasco...I don't have the energy.
So, after a very busy day (the only thing keeping me motivated to get to each store was the money burning a hole in my purdy Coach bag - LOL)...and after hours of custom painting to get Kyle's blocks perfect - I have what I wanted....ahhhh sigh...it's perfect!
My next bout of nesting happened this weekend. I think I bought like 30 picture frames, and framed baby!! I've toasted 2 ink cartridges and a crap load of paper...but it's sooo worth it.
As for Kyle News - he's seriously putting some kicking and punching combo's together! It's like he's throwing a crazy tantrum...very cool. I just smile everytime he goes at it..and assure him he'll get to come out and play soon...BUT not TOO soon! he's been ordered to bake as long as necessary. lol.
I better get to getting ready, my mom will be here with her Uhaul in about an hour....let the day begin.
She better like my frames!
Monday, June 16, 2008
28 Weeks - 3rd Trimester
I opened my journal today, and it said "congrats, you're on the home stretch! And you probably feel like you've been pregnant forever..." Really? Forever....the funny thing is, I just now feel prego?! Honestly...dare I say I've had an easy time with pregnancy??
We just had our diabetes test - all clear. All the panels are all good. I've gained 13lbs. so far - which is FABULOUS for me.. :) I'm on track, and feeling great really!
I have noticed I get winded easier and have to walk slower, which drives hubby crazy! LOL - but he needs to slow down anyways.
And, with my fort of pillows at nite, I sleep quite well. Kyle is a good little boy and sleeps at night, he only kicks the bed for the first few minutes but tires out quickly .
It's amazing how much he's been moving. I really went through a time there around 26 weeks where I was seriously stressed out cuz he would go so long without me really feeling much movement. Of course, I call up all my mother friends, and they assure me I'm ok. (I do not know what I would do without them really, and my bff Carrie Berry is the best EVA! With 4 beautiful miracles, she's been through it all, and best of all - knows how to handle me. thank you GOD!).
But, now I think he's running out of room, he no longer does so many summersaults (how the heck do you spell that??!)...but he's resorted to jabbing, kicking, and kung-fu'ing mommy. Thanks KyKy!
And, since we're not raising no WUUUSSSEEYYY, (lol - if you love Jim Titus, you understand ) I make sure he gets lots of Breaking Benjamins, Godsmack, and ok a littttleee justin timberlake - LOL - shoosh!!
I can NOT believe I have just 3 short months left. It's absolutely surreal. I can't explain it - I know he's real, but I can't believe my fortune to be able to be a mommy and give birth to a baby boy. I feel so blessed.
Guess i better get a move on! I still need to register, do his room, put up shelves, buy supplies, yadda yadda! Plus, my baby shower is Aug. 2nd, so gotta get ready for that too! holy cow!!
Did I mention my brain has turned to mush too? Yup, threw my car keys in outside trash today and put the butter in the cupboard, and I'm always 4 days off?? LOL...ask Carrie!! OK..really now...i need my brain back!
Sunday, May 18, 2008
24 weeks (6 months) Update
Well, after a long month of eating whatever the hell I wanted, I was soooo scared to see my doc. See, as a plus size girly, I didn't want her to stereotype me into - oh boy, we have a gainer on our hands - high risk alert! LOL - thankfully, my doctor is super cool, and hasn't made me feel bad about myself or anything - actually, quite the opposite. I swear, I'm like a 3rd grader all over again needing the approval and shiney gold stars for my effort!
However, I was feeling too good, and actually the night before my Dr. visit, I splurged on Pizza and tots ( hello! from kennedy school - you can't say no - right??! ). After sufficiently beating myself up, and weighing myself - I knew I was going to be sent to detention.
All I could think about was my Dr.'s face, and dissappointment! Ahh, couldnt' take it! So, I promptly guzzled 2 ltrs of water before my appt to hopefully flush my body of all my sins! Maybe she'd never notice??
So, I get there, and thankfully I get another Dr. since mine's in delivery. Ordinarily, I'd be mad, BUT, she didn't know me and I found this a plus! The nurse's - which didn't know me either, since they were the other dr.'s - took my vitals. I cringed when I got on the scale - see in my crazy head and my stupid scale at home which is promptly being thrown out the window weighed me in at like 13lbs heavier - in ONE month! eeeck! So, I braced and thankfully it was only 8lbs (so that's 10lbs. total gain so far) ..and the nurse didn't even flinch - nothing. wfew...next...blood pressure. You know, I swear I put on more weight when I'm not prego! LOL
And, I had the lowest blood pressure since Feb - nice! this is shaping up to be a great visit! Plus, Kyle is moving around a lot now, very very cool, and his heartbeat is around 140 - which she says is great for where I'm at. wfew!
Everything else tested fine, thank the good Lord above. I swear, I just keep holding my breath for something - something to be terribly wrong, or something...I'm honestly freaking crazy scared. It's been extrememly easy and I just feel like I'm being prepared for a doozy.
ugh - i can feel my energy being zapped again and my hormones are def in full swing. I'm just more sensitive and emotional, can't let anything stew, or I'll go crazy! It's official, I'm a spaz.
xoxo,Spaz
Saturday, May 03, 2008
19 weeks - It’s a Boy Current mood: bouncy
Today was a wonderful day. Over the past few weeks, I felt that it would never come. The day we find out if we're having a boy or girl, and find out if little baby Kane is doing good so far. But, finally it did!
The past few weeks, I just felt like I knew we were having a boy....I just felt it. Never did I feel that I had the "mother intuition"...but oddly enough...maybe I did?
The morning started out with a dr. checkup at 11am, and the ultrasound was at 3:15pm. The doctor appointment went well, I love my dr., she's fabulous. She was very excited to see I had been very serious when I told her way back in February that I wanted to keep my weight gain to the healthy amount and do what I need to do to stay healthy and not gain crazy weight....which for me...I know I'm prone! I weighed in only 1 lb. heavier since Feb, had no swelling, and blood pressure and all that fun stuff was perfect. This has been the easiest Dr. visits ever! LOL She used the dopler to hear Kyle, he was twirling around and his heart was 152 bpm - which she said was great. So, I was out in no time and sat to wait for my 3:15pm.
Mikey was at work and got home around 2pm, and we did lunch and headed back into the Dr. office. Walking in, we were so giddy and happy, and in the elevator met a couple that was headed to the office as well. They were due in 1 week and the husband was so cute and happy. He was saying that he never saw other men at the office with the women and it was cool to see my husband there. We all clicked, and laughed, and anxiously awaiting our appointments.
Then, we were called! Up until now, all I had was a picture of a grain of rice in a sack - and that was baby kane...just a dopler here and there...and that was it! So, we were SO excited to meet our baby for the first time. Mike had never been to an ultrasound session before, so he was super cute. The tech was great, and thank goodness patient with us...being new parents and first timers not knowing what to expect.
She started out with the basics checking the heart and organs and such, and it was so cute, every time she was narrow in on a part and start tapping away on her machine..Mike would keep saying, "so is that ok? is that good? that ok??" lol...she was like..yes, it's ok unless I say otherwise...then the next thing she measured and tapped at, there's mikey "so that's good right?"....we were so nervous!
But, everything came out well, Mr. Kyle was announced so quickly I didn't even have time to process.....I just knew though....so I didn't even flinch. We were excited and kept saying..so you're sure right? She got some more pics just to make sure and keep us at ease.
So, we have a boy - Kyle Michael Kane and all is well so far. He's so active and won't stop spinning around and touching his face....he's SO cute! eehheheheh - there's a real baby in me!??
So wild. I could not be happier...we are good so far :)
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
10.5 weeks - We hear a heartbeat!
I got to go in today for my first meeting with my doc - Dr. Hutchinson - i truly love her! She's so hippie turned doc - but like just freaking rad - i couldn't ask for better - i was praying i wouldn't get a stale DR - boooo!So anyways -This morning started out crappy - around 6am like clockwork, I'm icky sick and hate life. My boobs could NOT hurt any more than they do. And, all i want is more sleep. I'm sure tired lately!I finally drag myself outta bed, after 4 sessions, my hair and makeup is FINALLY done. If you know me, this usually is a ridiculious process - about an hour - ohhhh yah, not now! It's seriously like 2 and half...need breaks for when I'm ready to pass out or boooo!Finally ready, going to the doctor! yay! I hear from all my friends, which are ALL pregoo! that the dopler most of the times doesn't work, and I'm sure I'll get an ultrasound just to be sure. So i'm like yah, it's in the bag, i get to say hi to my strawberry (my preg journal says it weighs as much as a large strawberry right now -hense name).My office gets me in on time, like always - I LOVVEEE that, super annoyed with lateness. So I'm happy.My weight is great - my blood pressure lower - all is good....in comes Doc.She's fabulous, says hi, and lubes me up for the dopler. And guess what! That little turd was LOUD AND CLEEAARRRR - damn it! No ultrasound. I even tried my pouty face and tried to squeez out a tear - to nooooo avail.She said "holy cow!" That's the strongest dopler reading I've had at just 10.5 weeks like you are - most are at 12 when that clear.So, good news - little baby is ready and determined to be born - yay!bad news - no cute little picture! Darn it!All though, when little mini-kane is born, I'm sure I'll have enough pictures to make up for it :) hee hee?Anyways - that was my day - hope you enjoy.
7:32 PM
Jessica Kane
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